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#fail: How to Lose Friends & Influence Nobody with B2B Social Media

- May 6, 2020 11:41 pm

How to Fail at B2B Social Media

“Everyone” knows that social media is the key to #success. “Studies” have shown that harnessing the power of so-called social “influencers” can yield ROI that is like, literally, millions of times higher than other methods of outbound marketing.

We’re not sure what other forms of marketing these studies measure but the point is, when you consider the fact that the top nine or 10 influencers count 500 million people as followers, the open rate on your latest email campaign is not even worth talking about. So how do you get there?
Experts say it helps if you’re already famous:

“It helps to already be famous or to become famous to become a social media influencer…”

—  Digital Marketing Expert

Thanks, Digital University of the Obvious. But the point is, millions of people are using social media every second of every day to communicate their “brands” to millions of other people.

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#fail: How to Repel Prospects with B2B Email Campaigns that Go Nowhere

- April 26, 2020 10:21 pm

How to Fail at B2B Email Campaigns

To:  Email List Person@gmail.con

From: Our New Marketing Intern

Subject: Re: Hi! Are you looking to COMPLETELY CRUSH your email marketing strategy?!! Read me! 😊

Dude:

Ever wondered why some email campaigns get results and others go so completely ignored that you find yourself googling the outage map? How is it possible for an email campaign to fail to connect to so many people?

It’s more than possible. With the right techniques, you can craft B2B email pitches so repellent they won’t even be opened by mistake. Here’s how:

  • Start with subject lines that are wordy, urgent and heavy on punctuation!!? If the spam filters don’t reject you first, you can almost guarantee a straight-to-trash result with credibility-straining embellishments like “greatest ever,” “like no other” and “once-in-a-lifetime-opportunities.”
  • Grab their attention with a flashy clickbait title: You won’t believe what happens at the end of this email!
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